(this is a sideblog!)
shout out to people who have seen you naked but you can still have regular conversations with
- shops for groceries - harry, he tries to be really healthy he buys shit like kale chips and louis is just like “REALLY HARRY, WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS A KALE” and harry is like they’re good for you! and louis is like “maybe for my body BUT NOT FOR MY SOUL!” and harry says that if louis eats 7 chips he’ll bake cupcakes and even wash all the dishes himself so louis is really overdramatic with it acting like he doesn’t like it, holding his nose and shit, making grossed out faces and while he’s literally just playing harry like a fiddle bc he does like kale chips thank you very much he just also happens to like cupcakes and HATES washing dishes.
- kills the spiders - louis totally louis, he could be in the living room playing a video game and harry comes in all timid like “um, excuse me lou, lou, excuse me louis, lewis, LOU” and louis just ignores him and continues to kill zombies until harry stands in front of the flatscreen tv like a starfish and says “THERE IS A BUG AND I NEED FOR YOU TO KILL HIM” and louis is like harry just kill it and get out of my way and harry is like “IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WILL DO THIS FOR ME” and louis is like uughhh okay and then harry probably makes some dumb joke like “well you don’t have a spiderweb tattooed on your leg for no reason” and then louis chases harry around the house with the spider napkin.
- comes home drunk at 3am - i could see both of them coming home on different nights piss drunk, harry comes home like a hazardous octopus all you see is limbs everywhere and maybe sometimes louis even wakes up to think his house is being broken into so there he goes, armed with a bat, only to find harry stuck in the recycling bin outside the door, arms and legs just flailing everywhere and when harry finally gets out he’s super loud and wants everyone to know how much he loves louis so he’s telling the household appliances that one day his last name will be tomlinson too, and when louis comes home late, harry waits up for him and puts on the whole “I WAS WORRIED SICK MISTER” but it’s all just a joke so they just exchange banter back and forth until it ends with louis getting a blowjob and harry tending to his hangover in the morning with healthy foods “antioxidants! louis!” “hydration!”
- makes breakfast - i don’t doubt louis can make a mean slice of toast so when somedays he wakes up really early, harry’s already awake doing some weird sort of kama sutra yoga pose only to get knocked over and greeted with toast covered in sprinkles and cream cheese bc “i couldn’t find the butter harry it wasn’t in the butter tray” and harry takes a bite so louis can the louis grin at him then they get up and harry cooks real a breakfast for louis while louis sits at the counter and makes comments like “ur butt looks nice today harry” “not as nice as mine” “but don’t worry, not many have a behind like mine” “jlo has a nice ass harry do you like her ass more than mine” “harry i wont get mad don’t lie to me” and that just goes on until “FINALLY HARRY WERE YOU TRYING TO STARVE ME TO DEATH!”
- remembers to feed the fish - i’m gonna change this to cat and pretend harry and louis got a cat and louis acts like he really hates the cat bc harry gives the cat so much attention and plays with him nonstop and louis refuses to have a turf war with a 9 pound cat okay but then one night harry walks in to find louis asleep with the cat on his chest and an almost empty bag of treats next to them, louis wakes up and the first words out of his mouth are “it’s not what it looks like”
- decorates the apartment - harry is really into feng shui but louis just think he’s making everything look weird so as soon as harry moves something to one spot to “increase the positive energy" louis moves it back to "decrease the amount of times he has to get up to get the remote"
- initiates duets - it would totally be a joint effort like maybe they’re just sitting on the bed talking about their upcoming plans and harry goes “i don’t know maybe we can go to france for a couple of weeks in the summer” and then out of nowhere louis goes “lovin… had me a blast” and harry looks up at with him with wide eyes “summer lovin, happened so fasssst” and then all of a sudden their bedroom has turned into a broadway stage.
- falls asleep first - louis even though he’ll never admit it and every time harry brings up how he “falls asleep quicker than the cat” louis deflects and somehow convinces harry that must have been a dream he had when hE FELL ASLEEP FIRST AND STARTED MUMBLING ABOUT THE BENEFITS OF BANANAS!! !
Ed Sheeran covers ‘Take Me To Church’ by Hozier.
for the zayn girls
i am actually crying fuck you
I text back embarrassingly fast
or three hours later
there is no in between